How Do You Feel About In-laws

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Barbara, Jul 20, 2014.

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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    Thanks, hunnie. I am used to it now. I just put my fake happy face for 2 days and I am done for the year
     
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    Hunnie

    Hunnie Level 3
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    I love going to gathering. :)
     
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    Rose Lee

    Rose Lee Beggar

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    True true!:eek:
     
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    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

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    fuck in laws and people in general lolz
     
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    Marvelous

    Marvelous Commoner

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    I can related to you Boss. I have been helping out my in law through out my marriage. But at the end, I become a bad person because I say NO.

    7 kids? I admire you. I only have 2 and I am going broke.
     
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    Out-laws are so evil. No matter what you do, never get "Thank You" from them. Just plain simple evil from hell :rage:
     
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    Marvelous

    Marvelous Commoner

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    I once do think that I am very lucky, that I have all my in-law love me. So I gave it back to them by taking care of them, financially and educated them one person after another. I gave them my all, but in the end, I reallize they are nice to me is because they need me. Now I am this bad person because I am no help. So now, I distance myself away and never look back.
     
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    Marvelous

    Marvelous Commoner

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    I hate going to the in-law get together. Too much competition and all they talk about is who have the biggest diamond ring, or the most expensive purses.
     
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    Hunnie

    Hunnie Level 3
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    Not sure if I can relate since I'm not marry yet, but my boyfriend's family is very humble people. They have an idea that talking shit about me is like talking shit about him since he's suppose to provide for me. I made it clear that I shouldn't have to do anything financially in the relationship.
     
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    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

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    wow.....
     
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    Hunnie

    Hunnie Level 3
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    Speak Happy. :)
     
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    Marvelous, I thought I am the only one that got a bad out-laws. I guess we are in the same shoes. Mine came to my house didn't even said hi or bye to me when they leaved. Then they got jaleous of me because my kitchen is bigger than theirs, how insane was that. Their own son asked them to watch the kids just only 2 hours so that he could go to see a doctor because he was sick, and I had to go to work, and they refused. It took me 15 years, girl to decide that I don't want have anything to do with them anymore. Where I come from my family always extended their hands to help out children, and they are so happy to see the children get things. But with my out-laws every times I got something better than them they are so jaleous. Now they don't come to my house anymore which it is good for me so that my blood pressure won't go up. I don't have to see their faces all the time. The whole year I got to see their evil faces only 3 times. Thanksgiving, Xmas eve, and Xmas day.
     
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    Hamster

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    Friends tell me, "when you get married, don't live with your in-laws, whether parents-in-law or brother/sister-in law. They can get between you and your wife. And that's bad for your marriage."
     
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    Hamster, a rule of thumb just live in opposite side of the world of your out-laws. Maybe you can see them every 100 years or so. Then you will have happy marriage
     
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    lovepink

    lovepink Commoner

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    For my family, this doesn't just apply to in laws but family members who live in Cambodia as well. No matter how much we help and give them money, they never appreciate us. There is never any words of 'than you.' also, in return we turn out as the bad guys and they spread rumours and gossips about how terrible we are.

    Over the years, we send thousands of dollars to them to help them out. We give them money so they can get a decent education back in Cambodia, but in return we just receive lies, deception, betrayal and ungratefulness.

    My family, especially my parents still help them out financially because they say Buddha sees and there is karma. You do good you will receive good things too.
     
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    They are so ungrateful. I am so sorry to heard that. I heard that people in Cambodia who has relatives in America, once they know your phone # they always call to ask for money. I don't have any relatives in Cambodia so I don't know if it is true or not. But I have a friend from Lao she said the same thing that she end up changing her phone #. She said that sometimes they call her pretend that someone is.very sick and they need money.

    All I know that my out-laws never say the word "thank you" when we bought them gift for Christmas. But instead they questioned each single time they opened a gift from us. Then they said either "we don't know what to do with it" and if it is food they would say "we don't eat that kind of food". Before when they came to my house for my kids birthday they refused to eat any foods that I served. They said that they don't know how to Chinese foods. I almost told them but I didnt. That all they need to do is to put the food in their mouth, chewed, and then swellowed that how people eat Chinese foods. They are just dumb white people.
     
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    lovepink

    lovepink Commoner

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    LOL. Oh that is all true. I guess that is like that everywhere. My family in Cambodia never call us to see how we are doing. We are on the ones who call them. They call us only for money too, mostly during the Khmer celebrations throughout the year. And we have hundreds of relatives back in Cambodia. So we spend a lot on them. Yep, they do that too. They call and pretend someone is sick and in the hospital and we end up giving them tons of money. Sometimes when we give them money on a monthly basis, for education like learning hairdressing, English or car mechanics. We can give money for years, without knowing they are not actually going to school. We have to hear it from someone else in the outer family. They would lie for years and say they are going to school just to get more money from us. My mom wants to change numbers, but both my parents dont have that extra edge to change it. My parents are pushovers. When we send gifts, medications, shampoo, lotion and money to them, we have to call them to see if they received the item. Lol, they won't call to say thank you even when they have received the items.

    Yeah, some people are really rude like that. They question the gifts and you can see the dissatisfaction on their faces. I used to get the same reactions with some of my outer family members, now I mostly just give gift cards. Or I buy the practical essential things that any person might use like Pajamas, socks, and lotion, but even that has some negative reactions. Because they are use to brand named items. Even inside the house sleep wear they are extremely picky, so they might not wear it as well. I think mall gift cards are the safest. You can buy anything you want with that, money you might use to pay for gas, bills, and food (there is nothing to spend for yourself).

    I think some people are just raised up like that. They are not very open to different ethnic foods, and they think the smell is too strong for them. They refuse to try new things based on the smell and look of different foods. My mom made 'nom pa chok' the other day, and white people and their kids came to visit, they didnt want to taste the nom pa choke, probably because of the smell or the fact that it was yellow, lol. Some Khmer foods I know is more difficult to try, but Chinese food is popular everywhere. Everyone eats Chinese food.

    It's hard being the host, because you have to consider each guest or family member's feelings when making food. When they are unwilling to eat the food you make, that makes you feel so sad and mad. You are working so hard to entertain and please your guests, and refusal to eat is the biggest insult. At least be considerate of the host's feelings and eat a little bit and try some, that would be the polite thing to do.
     
    #37 lovepink, Nov 16, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2014
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    I guess those people in Cambodia think that you are their bank account with free money. I think they think that people live in the US are so rich. Money just grow behind the back yard from what I heard.

    With my out laws. It doesn't matter what kind of foods I serve they just refuse to eat, even I serve pizza. They said it is not their brand, funny right? I didn't know that pizza has brand name like clothing and purses. But you know I don't invite them any more to any of my kids birthday. I don't buy any gifts for them. When it comes the holiday I give my husband a budget how much he can spend on them and just let him buy whatever he feels like it. I just don't have anything to do with them anymore. I brought a pecan pie to their house one time for thanksgivings.They told my husband to take it back because they don't eat that kind of food, lols for God sakes. Now when I go for the holiday I go with empty hand. I don't have to break my head to think what I need bring over.
     
    #38 Barbara, Nov 16, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2014
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    lovepink

    lovepink Commoner

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    Yeah, I guess just because we live in Canada, they think our family is rich. It's true that compare to Cambodia, things are much better here, but we still need to work extra hard to get money.

    Sorry to say this, but they sound so snobby. It's just food, so they should just put it in their mouths, chew and swallow. I know people have a preference for brand name clothing, cars and purses because it suppose to represents some kind of upscale high class lifestyle that portrays an identity they would like to capture, but that is just wrong. Food is food, there is no such thing as high class and low class food, well at least there is not suppose to be. I know there are some restaurants that charge you over $100 for some drinks and a plate of appetizers. But you are eating to survive, nothing else should matter in that case. They are snobby and ungrateful. I would feel sad too, they sound so rude. The should at least show some appreciation towards the food offerings. It's good, you shouldn't bring anything to their house anymore.

    From what I get, they are suppose to be rich, brand name, snobby individuals who like the finer things and would not settle for anything less. They are the better higher class people who look down on others, yet their actions are not fit to be well educated high class people. You would think that people who dress well and eat fancy food, are well educated and therefore understand the proper etiquettes in normal social settings, yet in this situation it would not seem so. It doesn't matter if they have the best things in life, what counts the most is the person's behavior and thoughts. You may look beautiful on the outside to keep up appearances, but if you are rotten on the inside... well, which characteristic would other people remember most about you?
     
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    Barbara

    Barbara Level 2
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    Lovepink, they are not rich nor high class people. They think that they rich because the wife work as secretary for a rich university (smu). But for really they don't have no money. They have over $10k delinquent on their credit card that they barry able to make a minimum payment everything month. They go out to eat they have to share plate. I don't call that rich or high class people. You are absolutely right they are so snob. That's why they are so jaleous of me every times I upgrade something with my house. But you know what, now it doesn't bother me a bit. Actually I kind like to do stuffs just to get on their nerves if I can afford. If you ever watch the comedy show Everybody Loves Raymond, well my out laws are the same class as Raymond's parents in that show. The dad talk exactly like Frank, the dad. So you can picture them what kind of people I deal with.
     

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