Bluebird
Guest
TIPS TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your email address is: Longbrick@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) Reply to everything someone says with,"That's what you think."
10) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
11) Don't use any punctuation.
12) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13) Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."
14) Sing Along at the opera.
15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
17) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
18) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
19) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
20) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess."
21) Have your co-workers address you by your screen name, Rock Hard.
22) When the money comes out of the Cash Machine, scream "I Won!.", "I Won!.", "3rd time this week!!!."
23) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!."
24) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
25) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
26) Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!!!."
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your email address is: Longbrick@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) Reply to everything someone says with,"That's what you think."
10) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
11) Don't use any punctuation.
12) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13) Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."
14) Sing Along at the opera.
15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
16) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
17) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
18) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
19) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
20) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess."
21) Have your co-workers address you by your screen name, Rock Hard.
22) When the money comes out of the Cash Machine, scream "I Won!.", "I Won!.", "3rd time this week!!!."
23) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!."
24) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
25) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
26) Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!!!."